Things Never To Say To A Mom

Moms worry about many things and they definitely do not need you making rude comments just because you have to say something. Show a little sensitivity by being careful not to say these things to mothers.

  1. She looks nothing like you.


I get this all the time and it doesn’t upset me, I just don’t get why people have to state the obvious. But what did get to me was right after my daughter was born and people used to get visibly surprised by the fact that her skin’s darker than mine. Some would even console me and say she will gain complexion the older she gets.

2. She’s too big/small for her age.

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Stop body shaming babies guys. My baby was 5.1kg at birth. Yup, that’s huge. Imagine how many people I’ve had to listen to tell me how big she is, as if i didn’t push her out my vagina. And some babies’ weight is health related, so please avoid having to hurt a mother’s feelings.

3. When you post a turnt picture. Person: where’s your baby?

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So apparently once you become a mom you might as well RIP. Don’t you know that’s when we get unlocked??

4. Breast is best

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Come on! We all know that breast is best. And as natural and God gifted as it is, not all mothers are able breastfeed. And those who can’t are already dealing with the guilt of not being able to. So please chill out on the breast is best talk.

5. Can I hold her?

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No stranger you can’t.

6. My baby never cried.

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I’m pretty sure all babies cry…

7. Comparing children’s milestones

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Your baby’s only starting to crawl now? My kid started running when she was 6 months old. Your child can’t talk yet? By the 3rd month my baby was counting up to five. STOP IT. We all know children’s developmental stages are not the same.

8. Judging parenting and disciplining styles

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I’m sure some of y’all wish you could discipline our kids for us. Well, it’s easy being an imaginary parent. You know exactly what you’d do if you were a parent, right? Let’s talk again when you’re parent.

9. Mom body shaming

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Our bodies have literally been through THE MOST! So when we come out of pregnancy with confidence and a new appreciation for our bodies, don’t shame us.

I thank you.


I Resented my Partner when I was Pregnant

I said to my partner, “I miss being pregnant”. And his response; “please don’t, you’re bad at being pregnant”.

He said it jokingly and we laughed about it but it came from a deep place. I’ve since had to really think about the person I was when I was pregnant. Marriage counselors often speak about “your married self”. That you often don’t know what kind of wife/husband you’ll be because you don’t know your married self.

In my case, I think I was a different person when I was pregnant. Different to what I actually thought I was. I really thought I was pleasant, no mood swings and not demanding, lol. I really did. To be quite honest, a lot of things are a blur from when I was pregnant. It wasn’t the first time he’d mentioned that to me. Soon after I gave birth he did say that I gave him a hard time. But I just brushed it off. But this second time made me think.

And it all came back, the feelings and frustrations I had resurfaced and I remembered that I subconsciously resented my partner. It was both our first pregnancy and we didn’t know much. We had to learn together. But I hated the fact that I had to bear more responsibility for this shared mission. I hated that he’d brag about having strong sperm and giving me a baby all the while it was just his sperm and the actual manufacturing of this being is done by ME and MY BODY!

I resented him for the fact that I still needed to be a functioning human being and do normal things when I was ALREADY busy making a baby. That is taxing enough on a person’s body. I hated even the smallest things, I’d get annoyed when he asked to pass him something, because HELLO, baby making is in progress! I remember now that he cooked a lot when I was pregnant, because when I wasn’t hungry, no one was eating.

I’ll leave it right here. I’m not rehashing more memories, and I’m sure if I were to ask him to fill in the gaps, he’d confirm that I was demanding, and had unpleasant mood swings. I’m grateful that he took it all like a man. I’m grateful that he didn’t retaliate and try to also make me feel bad. Some men are not strong enough for this and that’s why they leave.

I’m conscious of my pregnant self now. I will be better and do better next time.

Beginner Favourite – Butternut

Here’s another beginner favorite; pureed butternut. Butternut and sweet potato were my first go-to because they’re my favourite vegies. And I’ve just recently realized that she prefers hubbard squash more than butternut.

I make all vegies the same way. Boil for a bit then blend with some of the water from the boil.

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The only extra ingredient I sometimes add is coconut oil. I’m still gonna talk about my obsession with coconut oil. 

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This week I graduated to mixing hubbard squash, sweet potato and carrots. She looooves it.


Wasn’t it easier carrying them around in our bellies?

My baby is 7 months old and she weighed 12kgs when I weighed her at 6 months. So you can imagine how much of a sport carrying her around is, but thank God for prams and baby wearing.

There are a couple of things that made me wish she was still inside my belly because they have become somewhat of challenge to do with a baby in hand. Add a fussy, cranky and sleepy baby to that.

So first of all, there’s no quick in and out when you’re shopping with a baby. It’s a whole trip guys, and its tiring! When you’re in the last stages of your pregnancy, all you wish for is to “pop already”, then you do pop and realize all the things you have to do with a baby in your arms – and wish they were still in your belly!

  1. The first time I wished she was still in my belly was when I drove into my complex and needed to run upstairs to grab something. She was asleep in her carseat and unstrapping and taking her inside with me meant that a two minute trip would take 15 minutes. I decided to leave her and run upstairs. I came back literally 5 minutes later and she was awake, crying like she’d been abandoned. I felt so bad, I also got teary. What type of a mother leaves her baby unattended to go a grab something real quick? She could’ve suffocated and died!
  2. The second time was this weekend when I decided to do a quick in and out at Dischem. This is now about 3 months after the first incident. She had been sleepy and fussy and finally fell asleep in her carseat. I had a 5 minute moral dilemma in the car. Do I wake her, unstrap her, drag her in the shop, meaning that my quick in and out will now become a 30 minute riff-raff. The conclusion? Run in, get everything you need – it’s all in one isle anyway, and run back. OK! Maybe not! The moral dilemma continued until my inner voice pointed my need to always be in a hurry. All that has to stop. Even if the shopping takes 5 hours, the baby’s safety and well being comes first. And leaving her in the car would warrant for some of y’all to call the cops on me.IMG_3176.JPG
  3. Same day; after Dischem, I went to get some takeaways for home. I took the baby in the restaurant with me and while were waiting for the order I had to go to the restroom. Oh Lord, why now? And holding in pee is still a bit risky for me. What to do? Take my personal companion with of course. Guys, I had to jump around while unzipping my jeans, baby in one arm, and I had to pee with her on my lap! I sat there and thought about my life. And that’s when I accepted that life has to happen hey! Small baby or not, things need to get done.
  4. When I’m eating and she wants to be held by me. Talk about juggling and throwing food into my mouth before she grabs or slaps it off my hand. I’ve mastered eating with my left hand and holding her on the far side so she doesn’t reach my plate. Most times she does. But we just continue because things need to be done, including eating.

All of this is embarrassing to talk about because sometimes I feel inadequate about my choices and the things I do as a mother. But I learn everyday how to manage, handle and cope.

Beginner Purées (Sweet Potato)

Homemade veggie and fruit purees are filled with essential vitamins and nutrients for your baby and they are easy to make.

I weaned my daughter onto solids from 5-and-a-half months old, and for the the first two weeks she only had soft porridge. She started purees at 6 months old. I started with the basic sweet potato, butternut and apple & pear puree. And these are safe to give babies from 4 months old.

Here’s how I make them:

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Sweet potatoes are a classic baby favorite, thanks to their sweet but mild flavor. I prefer to steam the veggies and fruit but if you boil them, make sure the water doesn’t run out in the pot. Leave a little because that’s where all the nutrients are. You can use this water to control how soft the puree is.

You simply pop it in the blender, press the start button and… VOILA!